Heisuke's Journey
by Lyer of the Inbetween
Summary: This is a collection of stories about Heisuke and his time with the Shinsengumi. They can be considered a part of an AU that takes place with his route in the games. There is Chizuru x Heisuke because of this. More stories to come in the future and no these will not all be in order.


_Heyo. So this is a story that could be considered AU I guess. It revolves around Heisuke after he became a Fury. Just an idea that came into my head and I thought it would be fun to write._

 _Basically, consider this story being on Heisuke's route so there is ChizuruxHeisuke involved._

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A long haired brunette opened his eyes a bit and groaned. It was mid day and the sun was already up high in the sky, shining in through a partially open door and window to his room. He was laying in bed but that didn't seem to faze him. He had been severely injured days before before with a fatal wound. Yet as he was sitting up, his body felt heavy and sluggish. Was that the pain or was it because it was daytime. He didn't know. However, that was the least of his concerns. He was getting hungry. Not for anything crazy. No, he just wanted some food, or so he thought.

Just then, there was a voice from outside the door. "Heisuke, are you up?" In return, he gave a weak but audible grunt. The person then proceeded to open the door. They had a tray of food, a bucket of water with a cloth in it and what looked to be medicine on the food tray. This actually caused him to gulp loudly. That medicine always tasted disgusting. The person who was serving him could see the look on his face and laughed a little as he shuffled himself back again.

"Come on Heisuke, you need to eat. And take your medicine. Hijikata's orders."

His shoulders slumped down in response as he gave off a sigh of defeat. "Alright Chizuru. It's not like I can really run away during the day anyways..." As he said that, she went and looked behind her at the window that was open. It had been opened at night so that he could have fresh air but right now, it was just making the sun painful to him. She set the stuff down and then went over the window to close it. Immediately after it was closed, he was feeling so much better. The sluggish feeling was still there but he didn't feel as painful.

She gave him the food tray as she went about preparing the towel for him to use after. He went to take a bite of the rice and ate some of it. But after eating half the bowl, he wasn't really feeling it. The hunger remained but he didn't feel like it was being satisfied. He tried for some of the fish that was there and it just seemed to taste really salty. Then it dawned on him. "Wait... Did Souji cook this morning?!" She started laughing at that and he just let out a loud 'Aha' in response. "That is why this all seems so weird!" She looked at him with a little sideways glance and seemed hesitant to speak. "Does it really taste that bad..."

It was then when he looked at her and realized that she looked a bit offended. "Wait... did you help make it this morning?" She gave a little nod of her head and he was immediately apologizing. "No. Sorry! I didn't mean it was bad. It's just..." He stumbled over his words and she just started laughing a bit. "No don't worry about it. Just eat your food and take your medicine." He gave a little smile and just dug into all the food, trying to stand the taste that he seemed to hate in favour of making her happy. Unfortunately, he ate too fast and started choking. He was handed a glass of water and downed it in a few seconds. He pounded his chest and then let out a gasp of air. He gave a big grin and laughed. "Sorry about that. I've just been so hungry..." She gave him a weird look for a moment but then got up to go get him some water since he still needed to take his medicine.

While she was gone, he eyed the medicine with disdain and thought about hiding it somewhere but she returned before he could. He was handed the cup of water and then downed his medicine. He let out a loud cry of disgust but immediately cringed as he felt like he could feel Hijikata threatening to gut him. That thought caused him to shiver as he just froze up, and she looked at him with a bit of worry. "I was just thinking of whether I want to face Hijikata's wrath or not..." That statement caused them both to laugh.

While out in the courtyard, there was a figure standing under a tree. The shoulder length brunette was staring at Heisuke's room and just kept to the shadows. He heard the cheery conversation between them and the comments about his food. But that didn't seem to bother him as he kept on watching. Thoughts were on Souji's mind about Heisuke's condition. The fact that he was on the brink of death and that his wounds had all healed now. It was like nothing had ever happened. He was wondering if that same power could give him the chance to fight again. It could maybe make him useful again.

Even with Souji gazing at them as Heisuke was trying to finish his meal, they seemed to pay him no mind. As it was, Souji had been attempting to keep himself hidden in the shadows and not be seen. At this point, Souji felt the onset of a coughing fit and immediately vacated the area so as to not be caught.

Meanwhile, Heisuke was still feeling weird from the food that he had eaten and questioned what the reactions his body had been giving him. Then, a thought crossed his mind as he realized something. "Hey... Chizuru?" She had just been collecting his dishes when she heard her name and then stopped to look up at him. "Yes Heisuke? What is it?" Their eyes met as he was attempting to for a question in his head and then have it translate into words but for a moment, he just couldn't connect it. His mouth opened but for several seconds, he couldn't say anything. Finally, it seemed like he could ask what he wanted as he looked away from Chizuru. "Umm, well. Why did I have to take the medicine?"

At that moment, Chizuru felt like that was a very complex question with a very complex answer. Heisuke didn't seem to really know what to expect as an answer but Chizuru tried to get clarification before she gave an answer. "Heisuke, which medicine are you talking about? The serum or Hijikata's...?" Then it became clear to him why she seemed to have such a confusing look on her face. She had thought that he was asking about the Water of Life. However, Heisuke was only questioning the need for the Ishida Medicinal Powder. Since he was a Fury now, it seemed a little odd that he would use it. "Oh... I'm just wondering why Hijikata was having me take is yucky medicine." He flinched again, basically able to feel the wrath of Hijikata.

Now with some clarification, Chizuru was able to explain that more easily. "Well, Hijikata wished to see if the medicine that could 'help no matter how much you get cut up' as you put it, well, he wanted to see if it would help quell the pain from becoming a Fury." That explanation made everything seem kind of redundant, however, since the body of a Fury worked so much different than a humans. However, none of the members completely understood what the Water of Life does to a person, so in retrospect, taking the medicinal powder didn't seem that bad, other than the taste. Heisuke smiled a bit at the thought that it might help. "I should thank Hijikata later for the consideration." Chizuru then nodded in agreement.

Heisuke laughed for a moment and then went to ask about a few things from her. There was a sheepish look on his face, as he lifted a hand and scratched his cheek, looking nervous. "Umm... so I wanted to ask, how are you doing Chizuru?" That question was a bit of a surprise for her so her eyes widened slightly as she seemed to just stare at Heisuke for the longest time. But, like always, Chizuru put on a smiling face and reassured him that everything was fine. "I'm doing great, thanks." Hidden behind that smile was a mix of worries and concern for everyone. It was in her nature to be like this and even after Heisuke had been gone for half a year, he could still recognize this fault. So, he went on to push a bit more to try and get more out of her.

"You haven't been working too hard around here, have you? I mean, everyone has been treating you well, right? Shin and Sano haven't been causing too much trouble? Did Shinpachi start stealing anyone else's food during meals? Or is he just happy with his own food, wait... Of course he is never happy with just his own food. Oh and has Souji still been bugging you about things? Or has he gotten nicer? I mean, he can be nice in his own way, somehow, but I mean has he stopped with teasing you so much?"

It seemed like the questions that he had wanted to ask made him go a bit overboard on how he was asking them. He felt like he had missed so much in the past 6 months that he didn't know a lot of what was going with his old friends. As he seemed to keep bombarding her with questions, Chizuru started laughing in response. It seemed that she had found this funny and as a result, that made Heisuke happy. He stopped asking questions form a moment so that he could put on a big grin. "I guess that I can find out some of that stuff from them. Sorry for asking so much."

Heisuke and Chizuru continued their conversation for a while as they played catch up on everything that was missed in each other's lives. It seemed like not much had changed but at the same time, it felt like they had missed so much from each other. Hearing everything that he could from Chizuru seemed to make the pain in his hart feel lighter. While the two of them had been talking, Heisuke had grabbed the bucket of water and cloth and was using it to wipe himself down. The water had been cold from the well and every time it touched his skin, he would wince a little. After washing up his hands and arms, he went and washed up his face and neck. It was a little weird for him to do this but he had known that he couldn't go out and just bathe in the bathhouse with all the other guys, so this was the next best thing.

As Heisuke was moving to his back, he pulled off the top of the robe and let it sit around his waist. While they were still talking, Heisuke didn't really pay attention to the fact that he had begun undressing in front of her. Chizuru stopped for a moment and looked at him. Heisuke noticed the pause in conversation and it finally dawned on him what had caused it. In addition, it seemed that she was just staring at him and there was an obvious blush on her cheeks. In the moment of realization, his ears and what seemed like his whole face turned red. Everything that he was doing stopped and he turned away from her so that she wouldn't see it. However, the look on his face had already caught her eye so she just kept staring at him while he sat there. After what seemed like hours, Chizuru just got up from where she sat and walked right over to Heisuke. Taking the cloth that was sitting around his neck, she soaked it in the bucket and then placed it on his bare back without a word. The sudden cold almost right on his spine caused Heisuke to nearly jump. He wasn't expecting it but he didn't move as she began to scrub at his back. There were no words exchanged as Chizuru scrubbed down his back, though Heisuke wouldn't look back at her save for a couple of glances out of the corner of his eye due to the red face that he still had. After what seemed like an eternity by this point, Heisuke finally spoke, albeit, meekly.

"Thanks Chizuru..."

Nodding in return, Chizuru smiled and continued to wash his back, returning to the bucket every now and again to replenish the water. As this was being done, Heisuke felt a tinge of phantom pain in his back from something that should have been there but wasn't. Back when he got those fatal wounds at the Aburano Koji incident, there had been one large gash placed across the entirety of his back which gave him pain like he had never experienced. However, now that he had become a Fury, his wounds, including the worst that he had incurred, were nowhere to be found. It was like they had never existed. The thoughts that entered his mind caused his mood to visibly change as his shoulders dropped and his posture seemed to match that of one who was moping. Chizuru noticed the physical change he was showing and immediately stopped what she was doing.

"Heisuke... is something wrong?"

Immediately, he waved his hand and put a smile on his face to try and reassure her. "No no. Don't worry about it Chizuru. I am fine." That false smile on his lips lasted only a second as he looked down at the ground. Shifting his sitting position so that he was sitting with his legs crossed, Heisuke leaned forward, but still faced away from Chizuru. "Thanks for helping. Would it be too much to ask to help me finish up Chizuru?" She gave a simple nod of her head and returned to washing up his back. His body seemed to flinch as the wet cloth made contact with his spine. This continued in silence for about a minute before Heisuke spoke up again.

"Chizuru..."

She only gave an audible 'hm' in response as she washed away sweat from his lower back. His voice had gotten quiet as he was speaking that it sounded like the whispers of a frightened child. "Am... Am I still the same person...?" This question had completely caught her off guard and she dropped the damp cloth in her hands. She regained her composure smiled yet again, even if he couldn't see it. "Of course you are. You are Heisuke. Even though you have been away for so long, you are still the same person." Those words seemed meaningful, however, they didn't seem to brighten up his mood at all. "I mean... Can I still be considered the same person?"

He got up from where he was sitting and pulled his robe back on fully. He then knelled down in front of Chizuru, however, he couldn't seem to look her in the eye. It didn't seem like he was going to wait for an answer as he continued to voice his concerns. "I was injured... the other day... and I should have died. I would have died if it wasn't for me drinking the Water of Life. It was my decision but it wasn't like I had any other choice. I wanted to live and took it in desperation. And now I am a Fury." As he spoke, it seemed like he was trying to get things off his chest. As a result, Chizuru said nothing to interrupt as he continued to speak. "I guess it still isn't entirely sinking in what I did or what happened to me. Probably because I passed out from the pain shortly after taking the serum. I just feel like things that should be there aren't. Just like my injuries." It was then that he put a hand on his forehead, finally looking at Chizuru. "Like, look." He lifted up his bangs to reveal a bare forehead. One wouldn't think much of it, except those who remember what happened back at the Ikeda Inn. "I should have this big ol' scar on my forehead but even that healed. I didn't even think that was possible..."

Lowering the bangs back down, he placed his hands on his knees, as they balled into fists. His arms were shaking slightly as he continued to speak even more of his worries. "Look Chizuru... I'm no longer human. Everyone thinks I am dead. Everything heals when I get injured. I can't even have scars to remind me of what an idiot I have been." That last part seemed to be an odd thing to add on, however, he continued even further. "Whenever I got injured in the past and had to go through the healing process, sure it was hard, but it was always worth it in the end. My scars acted as reminders of my past and any mistakes I may have made. But now they are all gone. Without them, I feel like a blank slate. I don't feel like me..." The trembling that was showing in his arms seemed to be getting worse as his fists were clenched so tight, his knuckles were turning white.

"Tell me. Please. Am I still able to be considered the same person? All of that stuff has changed in me. My body doesn't even feel like it is mine anymore. I feel tired and pained with the sun up and want to awaken as the sun goes down. The hunger I have isn't being fulfilled by eating the food you gave me, nor is anything else happening. I don't know what I should be feeling anymore? Am I still the same person? Or am I a monster? Or am I just someone who should be dead?"

Chizuru reached out and grabbed hold of both of his hands, both of which had the fingers dug into the palms enough to draw blood. She pulled the hands from his lap and held them up, holding them. They felt warm. The blood flowing from them was enough that her hands became stained with it. "Heisuke. You are still you!" When her voice raised, that seemed to snap Heisuke out of it as the shaking stopped and he released his fists. The blood had ceased flowing shortly after as any wounds that he had created were already healing. Heisuke stared at his hands and then up at Chizuru. The look on his face was sad. "Look, even those are already closed." Chizuru kept speaking against his words. "It doesn't matter how your body seems to have changed. Your heart is still beating, blood is still flowing through your veins, you are still breathing and you still make the worst jokes ever." The last part seemed to come out of nowhere, but Chizuru continued. "You still are able to say things to make me laugh. You can still smile and feel happiness and sadness. Nagakura and Harada still wish to drink with you and worry about you every day. You still hide your face when you get embarrassed. You sleep funny by cuddling that blanket like it was a stuffed animal. You still fear Hijikata for insulting his medicine."

She dropped his hands and seemed to become bolder as she felt like she shouldn't stop. Heisuke didn't even realize what was happening as she reached out and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and then pulled his head into her chest. It was quick but gentle, causing Heisuke to just stay there, wide eyed as he felt the warmth of her body against his. It was then that he could hear her heart beating, quite quickly. She held onto his him and lowered her voice as if it was a mother comforting a child. "Heisuke, you are still you. It doesn't matter what may have changed, because as a person, you are still you. I know that for a fact. I know because I know you."

Hearing her words mixed with her warmth and the sound of her heartbeat allowed him to feel more at ease. There were still doubts and worries in his mind, however, Chizuru had managed to push those from his mind for now. "Uh... Chizuru..." His voice was hesitant as he liked the feeling of where he was. The warmth was soothing and he didn't wish to pull away. Though as he took a deep breath, he pulled away, reluctantly. Her grip loosened on him and then she released him all together. As he sat back up, Chizuru went to say something as she tried to explain for what had just occurred. However, Heisuke got to it before she could continue.

"Would you mind staying with me?"

Her eyes widened as she stared at him, unable to form an answer to that question. It seemed like she couldn't really understand what he meant. Did he want her to stay with him in the room for a little bit longer, or did he mean in general? Was it for care or because he was scared or something else? She wanted to ask him for clarification, however, it seemed that it was Heisuke's turn to be going on with words. "I feel like I can be myself with you around. It feels like I haven't lost everything that I use to have. I can still be me. So would you please, stay by my side, even if just a little bit at a time?" The look on his face was one like a sad puppy begging. It seemed like there was no way that she could just say no to him. Finally, she gave in and just smiled. "Sure. I can stay with you for however long that you need."

That seemed to make Heisuke so much happier. However, he began yawning and suddenly his eyes seemed to start drooping. Chizuru looked at him slightly concerned. "Heisuke?" He yawned again and rub at his eyes. "Ahhh. Sorry, I guess I am just suddenly feeling tired now. After all, it is still daytime." Chizuru smiled and nodded her head in understanding. "Alright Heisuke, it's time for you to get some rest. I'll be back to see you again after sunset, alright?" Heisuke was already laid, sprawled out on his futon with his eyes closed. "Yeah thanks, Chizuru..." His voice trailed off as he seemed to drift off to sleep quite quickly. And with that, Chizuru collected the things in the room and took them out with her. It seemed that for the first time in a long time, Heisuke was able to sleep peacefully, even though his whole life was changing. But he just had to wait and see what would happen. And it made him happy that he wasn't going through it alone.

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 _Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy._

 _~KRay~_


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